I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
