i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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