I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize