I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
