She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
