watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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