Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
