i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
