If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize