Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
