so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
