I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
sarcasm needs its own font
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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