Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
