I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
