So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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