Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
