Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
