I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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