As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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