i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
