pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
