so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
