Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
