Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
