Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
