playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
