So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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