whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
