I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
