There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Randomize
