Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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