i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
