I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
