Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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