but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
