Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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