everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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