Too much gin, very little bucket
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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