There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
