I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize