doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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