i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
