Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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