Where did you get a picture of my penis
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
