i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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