i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He did a backflip because drugs
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