I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
