dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
