You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize