you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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