Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
