nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
