My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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