fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
