I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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