We're facebook friends in real life
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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