She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
