The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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