I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
