Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
