I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
