We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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