I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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