somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
